'Twas the night before x-mas and all through the camp
The rain had turned the normally dusty dirt damp
The sandbags were stacked by the trailers with care
But the roofs were unprotected, with hope that no mortar falls there
The contractors were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of completed exit reports danced in their heads
And my imaginary girlfriend, and I in my briefs,
Had just settled down for a long fitful sleep.
When out in the camp I heard such a clatter
I ran from my trailer to see what was the matter
When what to my wandering eyes should appear
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer
The sleigh was on fire, and four "engines" were out
And above the din I heard St. Nicholas shout:
"Now Dasher, now Dancer, now Prancer, Now Vixen,
you guys got to pull for Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen
We're taking too much small arms fire with you guys screwing around
We need some altitude so we can get the fuck out of town.
If we land we'll be on TV with our heads cut off, I'm not taking that fall
Now dash away dash away dash away all"
Then I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight
"You guys are nuts to be here, I'm going back to the North Pole for the night".